commas and ampersands

Merry Christmas!!

(Or Merry Boxing Day. Or something.)

It's been a really, really good holiday so far. Busy, but it's busy in that good way--the "We're seeing lots of family and spending lots of time together" way, rather than the "I've got papers and projects and meetings and work" way.

Christmas Eve, Colin and I had breakfast with murphy987 (yay!) and then had a relaxing afternoon before heading to church for the 4:00 service at my church and the 7:00 service at Colin's parents' church, and then over to Grammie and Grampy's house for their annual Christmas party. Christmas Day, we started at my parents' house with stocking, breakfast, and presents; then we went to Colin's parents' house for stockings and presents; and then down to Auntie Marge's house in High River for turkey dinner with his dad's side of the family. Today, we're heading to my aunt and uncle's for my extended family's dinner, and then it's off to one more Christmas party tonight before we get a couple of days off. I think that the next family dinner that we've got (thus far) is on Saturday, so we've got a few days to just hang out.

I've discovered that doubling the family means doubling the gift haul. ;o) It also means doubling the number of presents that we have to buy, but I'm just not thinking about that part of it right now... Heh.

This was the year of the duplicate presents for us, but none of them are actually getting returned. Colin had asked me for a good set of headphones for his birthday, but I didn't end up getting them for him, so I told Esther and Justin that they should get him some. So they did, and so did his parents, but he can use a pair at home and one at work, so neither pair is getting returned. The ones from his parents are a better pair, so they're staying at home for when he's mixing audio, and the ones from Esther and Justin will be good for work.

Also, we (well, I, but really we) got two Magic Bullets. And not the dirty kind. I'd been dropping hints for ages that I wanted one for my kitchen, so Colin and my mom each picked up on the hint and got one for me. (And the funniest thing is that I was *thisclose* to getting one for Esther and Justin, but I didn't.) Colin thinks that it'll be an appliance that we can use multiples of, though, so we're hanging onto both of them. He's keeping one here for now, and I'll take one back with me, and then eventually, we'll have two in the kitchen.

Hmmm. What else did I/we get? We got a bunch of gift cards, so we're set for date nights for a while, which is nice. Kat and Aaron got us dinner at the Keg and a movie, Jay and Jillian gave us a movie, Devin and Lori gave us dinner at Earl's, and his parents got us a gift card that will probably buy a couple of dinners at Redwater Grill, which we've never tried before, but his mom really likes it.

Santa left us some car accessories in our stocking at his parents' house--a little vacuum that plugs into the cigarette lighter, a visor organizer, and a little whiteboard for the other visor. Colin's parents gave me Ratatouille, Esther and Justin got me season 7 of Gilmore Girls, and Carl gave me season 3 of Veronica Mars (because I forgot to tell people not to buy me DVDs until the writers' strike is settled).

Mom is hinting strongly that she wants me back this summer to do the breast cancer walk with her; she got me a pair of black workout pants that match the black and pink jacket I got last year. They're actually really comfortable, but the funniest thing was that she wrapped them with a huge pink tissue paper breast cancer ribbon on them, with "hint, hint" written on the ribbon. She said that she would have paid for my registration if it would guarantee that I'd be here for the walk, but we'll have to see once we decide what's actually happening this summer. Soon. We'll be making that decision sometime in the next couple of weeks, and then I can tell her. (I wonder if she'll still pay for my registration that way...)

We also got a few ornaments to start our tree with. I got Colin two ornaments (as the more sentimental/romantic/whatever part of my gift)--a little wooden airplane, and a little pewter picture frame with the word "Love" on the back. I figured that those two, as much as anything, defined this year for us. Jakob and Kayla gave us a Hallmark penguin and polar bear ornament, my mom put matching heart ornaments in our stockings, and I got a Starbucks red cup ornament in my stocking. I've got a good stash of ornaments of my own, but they're mostly generic sets of whatever Ikea ornaments I've picked up for my tree over the years--it's nice to start building a collection of ornaments that have history and meaning to us as a couple.

Oh, and from one member of Colin's choir, we got a bottle of wine. Apparently this guy's brother owns a winery in Australia (but I can't remember the name right now...), and the tradition in their family is that a bottle of their wine, given as a gift, is saved to be opened for the firstborn's birth. So, we already have a bottle of wine for when our first child is born.

So, that's been the holiday so far. It's been so good to see family and have time with them, and so good to have time with Colin. It's amazing how quickly this becomes normal again. The fact that for the past four months, "normal" has been the distance and frustration and loneliness disappears so quickly, and it's amazing how fast it's normal to be at his house, sharing the car, doing as much together as we can... which, of course, isn't normal when we do live in the same city and we're both working, but for now, it's the best kind of normal that there is.

And in there, even in the busyness and great company, there's been time for reflection and worship and celebration. Christmas Eve was nice in that way--there was the deliberate time set aside to celebrate Christ's birth in a more intentional way, and that set the tone for everything else.

And now I'm just waiting for Colin to show up so we can head over to Doug and Tammy's. We're not in any rush--we were told to show up between 12-ish and 1-ish, so I told Colin to come by at 11:30-ish. It's getting close to the 12-ish now, but I haven't done my hair or makeup yet, so I won't be ready when he gets here anyway.

I can remember being in kids' choir when I was in elementary school, being the brat who would poke other kids when they weren't doing things right.

(This morning, in church, the little kids sang a song, and there were a few of those kids, and it was just cute and fun to watch them.)

When I was in grade six, my friend Erin and I wrote a list of things in the choir that we thought needed to be changed. Stricter dress code, selected (talented) kids doing choreography, people who could sing on key doing the harmonies, more complicated choreography that looked more exciting than just hand actions.

Mom (who was the director) wasn't too impressed with us, I don't think, and there was definitely an aspect of snobbishness there, but looking back on that nearly 15 years later, I realize that was the beginning of the aspect of producing that we spend a lot of time on: developing a personal aesthetic. A big part of producing is knowing what you're passionate about; what visuals and stories attract you; what makes you tick; what you want to invest your time, money, and professional reputation in; and so on. It's developing the "Blink" effect (from Malcom Gladwell's book "Blink"): being so secure in your expertise that you can make a split-second decision and trust your gut.

When I was 12 years old, I was starting to develop the aesthetic that has continued to form throughout my theatrical training. I value well-produced theatre and professionalism at any level (independent of budget or training), among other things, and those parts of my personal aesthetic were what I was starting to develop when I was disturbed by the amateurism in the kids' choir.

Context, of course, is an issue there, and there's a time and a place for demanding professionalism--and maybe second-graders aren't the people to expect it from. Still, the seeds for what I'm doing with the rest of my life were planted there.

Aesthetic also plays a big part in my directing, obviously. I'm constantly telling my casts to trust my vision and trust my aesthetic (or, if not telling them outright, working to earn their trust), because I see the big picture (figuratively) and I've seen the big picture since long before they came on board with the project, and also, I literally see the whole picture--because they're onstage and I'm not.

Having said that, though, this weekend's Christmas concert challenged my aesthetic.

I'm not speaking as a choir director nit-picking the music itself here, because a) I'm not a choir director, and b) that's definitely a place where I don't have an objective view, hearing only the people around me and not the entire mix. As a producer-slash-theatre director, though, there were elements of the program that I watched with a much, much more critical eye than most people either involved or in the audience. There were many little nit-picky details, like the timing of the light cues, that I would have changed; there were bigger things about the process, like the dress rehearsal process itself, that I would have done differently.

There were places where I was grasping to change people's attitudes. Heather and I have been working hard for several years to begin to expect a higher degree of professionalism from the people involved in the drama ministry at Foothills, and we're finally beginning to see those changes. People are starting to expect and give certain things, and it's cool to see. This week's dress rehearsal felt like going five steps backwards from that, and I just wanted to sit people down and give them the lecture about dress rehearsals that I've given to many a high school student.

There were things that I would have done differently about the program itself--changes I would have made in the way the concert was structured.

It was a good concert. The choir sang well (although last night, we were a little disastrous on some of our words... it's amazing what leaves your head at the most inopportune times), and it was well-received (although people's praise never seems to really be dependent on how good it actually was. That's just a random observation, but I've learned not to take my most heartfelt criticism from the audience, because there's a certain point where hearing mindless comments that people enjoyed it just doesn't give me any constructive criticism and really isn't what I need to hear... but I digress. That's a conversation for another day).

I'm not trying to discount the entire thing, or to say that it was poorly done. There were just a fair number of things that I would have changed--and that's my aesthetic. It's what I've developed in my years as a theatre artist, and what I'm continuing to develop as a producer. And, trusting the director, I'm sure that some of it was deliberate. I think that some of it, though, wasn't. Maybe I'm just being the kid poking the child beside me. I felt like doing that more than once this weekend (do people really need to be told not to whisper their comments to their neighbor while they're onstage? Is at least that level of professionalism--and not only that, but respect for whatever else is going on while we were waiting for the next song--too much to ask? I should have started poking), but at least I'm poking with an educated finger and honed instincts. Okay, that metaphor isn't really working any more, is it?

It went well, although I'm still not entirely sure that I should have stayed here this weekend just so that I could sing in it. I'm not sure if I gained more by being here or if I would have appreciated it more if I'd been in Calgary to see Colin's cantata this morning and Foothills' show tonight. I'm not sure. But I'm still glad I was here for it.

Now I'm tired. My feet hurt, because two 2-hour concerts (in heels) back-to-back is not friendly to my feet. I need a foot massage, but by the time I see Colin on Wednesday and can try to convince him that the greatest thing in the world would be for him to rub my feet, they won't hurt anymore, so it won't matter.

I'm having issues posting on Saturdays this month, apparently. Or Tuesdays, for that matter. Heh. I'm such a dork, especially given the fact that I haven't actually been concerned with posting every single day, like I used to be.

Hmmm. What's new? Jakob broke his elbow, poor kid, and has to have surgery on it in a week or so. He slipped coming down the ladder to a bunk bed, his arm got caught in the rung, and it twisted as he fell. Ah, he's such a little boy. It was funny, though--I was talking to Kat this evening, and she put Jake on the phone, and he told me about what happened and that he had to go to the doctor because his arm was broken, and then, "Uncle Colin? Can I talk to him?" Hee. I totally know where I stand with him! :) I'll have to get Colin to give him a call--he'd appreciate that.

He's getting so articulate. Jakob, that is, not Colin. It's so cool to listen to him tell a story now, because he's putting his information together in full sentences and answering questions and actually telling details. It makes it a lot easier to talk to him on the phone, too, when I can't read his body language.

Other than that, life is pretty uneventful. Really, life is just life, no matter where you live, and even living somewhere "fun" is still living. That sounds depressing, but I don't really mean it that way. I mean, you choose where you live based on many criteria, but when you get there, you still just live your life. So even though it's L.A., and people can tend to be all, "Oh, that's so cool!" (just like they did when I lived in New York), that doesn't eliminate bad days and boredom and tedious work and PMS and everything else that makes life just life, regardless of the fact that I'm still slightly awestruck at the palm trees out my window.

I did connect with the choir director at church today, so I'll go to rehearsal on Wednesday night. I think that'll be good for me--it'll be good to connect beyond just sitting in church on a Sunday morning.

Oy. What a weekend. Not in a bad way; it's just been busy.

My daytimer is filling up to the beginning of May, and it feels like next week, not a month and a half from now. The next four weeks are all mushed into one week in my head... everything from now until Easter is just one block of time in my mind.

But anyway, this weekend feels like it's been about 5 days long. You know how sometimes, the beginning of the day is so different from the end of that day that when you look back at what you did in the morning, it feels like it was another day altogether? Yeah, both yesterday and today felt like that.

Short version, because I'm tired and need sleep:

Saturday: 7:30, Class in the morning; 1:00, rehearsal; 3:30, coffee with Becky, my old Quiznos boss; 7:00, my brother's choir concert.

Sunday: 8:30, church at Colin's church, where the choir sang; 10:45, regular church service (no involvement this week) at my church; 1:00, lunch with my parents; 3:00, errands; 5:30, dinner with Colin's parents; 7:00, a hymn-sing that Colin's other choir (not the one he directs that I sing in) was performing at.

That was lots of fun, actually--most of the people there were over 65, and the evening alternated between singing hymns requested by the congregation, and then a performance by the choir, alternating a few songs of each. Lots of fun, and lots of old hymns that I grew up with and haven't sung in quite a while. My parents came to that, too--they've gone to this particular event in the past (actually, my brother's choir sang at it a couple of months ago), and when they found out that I was going because Colin was singing in it, they decided to come along. Or, rather, to meet us there, because we went separately from them.

Anyway. That was the day. Or something.

Augh. I'm seriously about to fall asleep on my keyboard. More tomorrow.

( Christmas picspam! )