commas and ampersands

LJ Idol Topic 5 -- Bearing False Witness

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 21:55:14 GMT

I can't think of that ninth commandment, "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor," without my mind jumping to "Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord in vain." Two separate commandments, but they go hand in hand, to me.

More than just an admonition against swearing, particularly blasphemous utterances, that third commandment is a reminder that, in the Judeo-Christian tradition, we literally take the name. Whether it's identifying as God's Chosen People or as Christians, something about our very identity invokes God's presence.

So when I take that name, do I take it in vain? When people associate me with Christ, in whatever way, have I taken that responsibility and privilege lightly? When I identify as a faith-based theatre artist working from the Christian tradition, and I carry with me the baggage of centuries of religious art and cheesy Christmas pageants, is there something about me--about my work--that rises above that and bears the name of Christ, rather than only bearing the history and tradition?

It's bigger than simply uttering, "Oh my God!" or "Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ!" in moments of surprise or panic.

It's a matter of taking a name, taking an identity, bearing a witness.

In one of my classes right now, I'm in the process of writing my aesthetic and artistic statements, finding the words to describe my work and how my faith impacts it, both in the general terms, and in the specifics of what I will or won't produce. I came in with that document on Friday, and presented my class with a list of works--faith-based or not--that inspire me, and certain criteria for work that I want to do. It was more about the attitude and underlying themes of the work than the story content, and I think that it surprised some of them that I didn't come in with my "WILL NOT TOUCH" list.

As I took the name of faith-based theatre artist, did I bear witness to the fact that we're not all working from a list of taboo subjects, but that my context determines the work I do, just as much as the content itself? Did they see that I want to tell good stories, just like the rest of them, and that I refuse to pigeon-hole a script that I haven't even read based on its perceived content?

I bear witness as an artist, as a Christian, as a person of faith. I take these names--do I take them in vain?

LJ Idol Topic 3: Smile

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 00:58:31 GMT

I smile big in photos. Closed-mouth smiles, half there, look silly on me. My eyes are big, and they get bigger, somehow, when I smile. I look like a goof when I try to smile with my lips together.

He smiles small. His favorite pictures of himself have his mouth closed, and he looks like he's got a secret that he's not telling the camera. He doesn't like photos where he smiles with his teeth showing.

When we smile--and I mean really, genuinely, deep-down smile--I sparkle; he glows.

I'm still waiting for a transcendently beautiful picture of the two of us laughing together, but whenever someone takes one, one or the other of us has our eyes squinched up funny, or a huge double chin.

At first glance, this is the best description of the two of us. I'm more outgoing, more verbose, more likely to be the one heard across the room. He's less likely to talk for the sake of making noise, more likely to think before he speaks, less brash, more likely to back up what I'm saying and distill my ramblings.

And maybe the fact that those first impressions are as one-dimensional as a photographed smile is why we complement each other so well. It's a clear, accurate picture, but it's far from being the full spectrum of smiles that either of us has.

Maybe the squinchy-eyed, double-chinned, weird-angled laughing photo is transcendently beautiful after all.

For the visually impaired: There is a photo of Colin and I standing in front of a Christmas tree. We're both looking straight at the camera. I'm smiling a wide, full smile. He's smiling more gently, with his lips together. It's one of our favorite photos of the two of us together.

This has been an entry for therealljidol. Other entries for this topic can be found here.

LJ Idol Topic 2: Uphill, both ways, barefoot

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 18:56:44 GMT

Gotta say, I'm not really a fan of winter. It's not my favorite season--that distinction is reserved for summer. (Ah, summer, with your long, long days; your lazy lethargy; your warm sunshine... but I digress.) It may not have been the main reason I moved to L.A., but the weather has certainly been one of the biggest perks of living here for the past two years. For the past few winters, I've gone back to Calgary for 3 weeks in December, and that's enough time to get my fill of snow and cold--and, more importantly, to drive on icy roads long enough to not become a wimpy driver who can't handle winter.

That's the thing. I may not love winter, but I can handle it. I come from hardy, Canadian prairie stock. I know what to do when it's -40 degrees Celsius out, but I love the Chinook winds that invariably mean that I don't have to deal with the -40 weather for very long. I know how to drive on ice, and I don't freak out if there's a skiff of snow that doesn't even stick to the ground, and thankyouverymuch, I plan on keeping those skills.

I have yet to wear a winter coat (or gloves, or a toque) while living in Southern California, because it has yet to get cold here. I see people around here get all bundled up when the temperature hits 50 degrees Fahrenheit, and the Canadian part of me laughs at them for being such wimps, while the American part of me gloats at my family and friends who live where they really have to bundle up. It gets chilly, yes. It gets cold enough that I don't want to sleep with my window open all winter, cold enough that I'm not wearing sandals all the time, cold enough that I can actually use my sweaters and fall jackets--but it doesn't get cold, and that's one of the things I love about this place.

One thing I don't love, however, is the assumption that just because I'm Canadian, I've never experienced hot weather before. I could do without all the comments about how this must be the hottest weather I've ever experienced, and I must be so out of my element, and isn't it just so different from the frozen north, and it must be freezing up there. (My favorite is when that last comment comes in August.)

Winter and I have a complicated relationship. I may not like it, but that doesn't give others who have never lived with it the right to knock it. When Calgary's weather doesn't cooperate with the season, I feel like the city is a misbehaving small child, embarrassing me in front of all my friends, even though I know it's not doing it on purpose. But that doesn't mean I won't defend it. "It's not always like this." "This isn't really seasonal." "Wait a few days; a chinook will hit and the temperature will jump 40 degrees overnight." "At least we're not like some places, where winter doesn't leave until spring."

And, you know, there are things about it that aren't all that bad. While it's all well and good to curl up in bed with hot chocolate and a book on a windy, rainy, chilly day in Los Angeles, it's even better to do it on a blizzardy, blustery, freezing cold day in Calgary. And if you've never experienced a midnight snowfall on Christmas Eve, you don't know what you're missing. And just like any other season, it's the change that's the best part. The first crisp, cold day; the new sweaters, jackets, and corduroy in stores; the first snowfall; those bright, cold, sunny days that are still good days for a walk outside. As long as those days don't come before December first.

When it comes to winter, I'm picky. I want it on my terms, when I want it. I'd be happy with a winter that lasted for the month of December. No more, no less. Give me a winter that goes with Christmas, and I can handle that. But by February? You and me, winter? We're so over, and while I still may not like other people smack-talking you, I reserve the right to badmouth you all I want.

This has been an entry for therealljidol season 6. Read the rest of the entries for this topic here.

LJ Idol Topic 1 -- Empty Gestures

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 18:14:06 GMT

I go to a lot of performing arts events. A lot. Not as many as I'd like to, but I average at least three to four plays, concerts, dance shows, or other events a month; often (usually) more--and that's not even counting the shows I'm working on.

Needless to say, I've seen a lot of good and a lot of bad work.

I've seen a lot of really good work that's not given the credit it's due, and I've seen some pretty mediocre work that's praised to high heaven, beginning with the thunderous standing ovation.

Well, okay. Maybe not "thunderous." In some standing ovations, it's more a sense of obligation and peer pressure than anything else. When the people around you start standing, you feel like kind of a jerk if you don't. Or maybe it's just that you can't see the curtain call any more. For whatever reason, that kind of ovation--the slow, kind of reluctant kind--is what I see most often. For as much live performance as I've been a part of, either as an audience member, a performer, or a producer or director, it's rare to see that spontaneous moment when the entire audience jumps to their feet the second the curtain goes down.

Even so--even if you can distinguish a reluctant standing ovation from an enthusiastic one--it's sad that it's expected, for the most part, that an adequate performance will receive one. The power of that collective moment of awe that drives the audience to its feet has been lost.

As an audience member, the automatic expectation of an ovation takes away my power to respond in some way to a performance that deeply moves me or is in some way excellent enough to be acknowledged beyond simple applause.

As a performer, the ubiquity of standing ovations takes away that heightened level of connection with the audience. It removes the breathlessness of knowing that this show garnered a reaction above the ordinary.

When standing ovations lose that power, what’s left? Standing on the seats to elevate the praise to another level?

This has been an entry for therealljidol. If you like it, please vote for me (a link will be posted when voting opens).

LJ Idol Topic 0 - Introduction

Fri, 09 Oct 2009 23:49:25 GMT

I feel like I’m sitting in a new class, trying desperately to think of unique, creative answers to the command to "Tell us your name, your favorite color, and an interesting fact about yourself." What interesting facts haven’t I used before?

Well, we’ll start with the easy ones: My name is Alida, otherwise known as being_fulfilled. I’m going to skip the favorite color question, since that’s just ridiculous. And as for an interesting fact…

How about this: I’ve been blogging for nearly 1/3 of my life.

Wow. That makes me sound like I’m about 12 years old. I promise, I’m not. I’m much closer to 30 than I am to 20, but I’ve been blogging for almost 9 years—since the spring of 2001—which, yeah, at this point, puts it as not-quite-1/3 of my life. I started out on diaryland.com, then spent a couple of years on blogger before moving to livejournal about 3 years ago, and these days, I’m also spending a fair bit of time on my own website and blog, which is a bit more of my academic and professional web presence. Really, the only thing that translates to is a lot of words; some meaningful, some very mundane.

The best way to introduce myself is to tell you what’s going to change over the course of LJ Idol. How much of that change happens while I’m in the competition… well, that depends on how long I’m in the competition. Regardless, this year (summer 2009 through summer 2010) is a year of incredible change in nearly every area of my life, and some pretty significant things are happening in the next 5-6 months.

In just over two months (December 18, to be exact), I’ll finish the final semester of my MFA in Producing. Over those next two months, I’m working on my final grad project, the first draft of a book exploring the faith-based theatre community in North America (thus introducing two of my greatest passions: 1) theatre, and 2) the intersection between Christianity and the arts).

Come December 18, my boyfriend and I will officially be finished with the 2+ years of long distance that started in September, 2007, when I started grad school. We’ve had some reprieves of a few months each summer, and as many shorter visits as we can fit in, but we’ll be so glad when we’re not living in different countries anymore.

That means that around Christmastime, there will also be a move. I live in Southern California right now (just outside of L.A.), and will be moving back to Calgary when the semester’s over. Where I’ll be moving, I’m not sure yet. Likely either to my parents’ place or Colin’s parents place for a few months because...

Chances are very good that within the next few months, we’ll be getting engaged, and it looks promising that we’ll be getting married next summer, so we won’t be finding a place until then; we’ll be living temporarily with parents (most likely) in the meantime. We've started planning a lot of the wedding, even though we don’t have a date or anything yet; we're just working on the general ideas and overall aesthetic of the day right now.

Graduating and moving also means finding a job, so I'll be searching for a job in my field and (hopefully) starting a position during the course of this competition. Come January, I’ll be starting part-time at my church as the theatre arts coordinator, working as a producer and doing some long-term strategic development and vision-casting for the program, as well as overseeing the theatrical productions and the overall arts presence in the church (minus music).

I think that covers the basics (and see what I mean about a whirlwind few months?!). So, in no particular order, I am: Christian, Canadian, an artist, a producer, a theatre junkie, a girl who loves a boy, a temporary transplant to California, a student, and somewhere in the middle of one of the most defining years of my life so far. There are a few other things in there, too (reader, walker, bibliophile, movie-goer, critic of all things cultural, grammar snob), but I’ve got to keep a few surprises up my sleeve, right?

Oh, and I’ve been blogging for a really long time, but I’m not internet famous yet (nor have I started making money from my blogging, but one of these days, that'd be pretty cool).

Here I go...

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 18:37:17 GMT

Well, after following along for pretty much all of last season (being made aware of its existence by witchofthedogs), I think that I need to do therealljidol myself this year.

I wrote a few of the challenges as home entries, but I think it'll be great to have something other than my thesis (and my professional blog on my website) to focus on writing for the next few months, and this poor little lj needs some love and attention before it atrophies into nothing.

Yes, it's a busy few months as it is, but there's always time to fit something else in. Sleep? Pfft. Sleep is for wimps.

Culture takes time

Wed, 27 May 2009 21:22:51 GMT

I still need to get a second job, but I really don't want to. There's so much going on in this city that it kills me to think of eating up my evenings with another job. I don't take advantage of nearly enough of the stuff that Calgary offers, but with this job (the Calgary Arts Development one), it's coming across my desk constantly. When I'm more aware of what's happening--and around people who are more excited about it--I'm reminded that I need to be out there, seeing and doing more. I want to be doing something cultural at least every week, and there are that many opportunities (and more!), if only I didn't have to work evenings and weekends elsewhere.

Sigh.

On my way

Sat, 16 May 2009 14:30:15 GMT

And we're off!

The trailer was packed up yesterday, and I had everything down in the car by 8:30 last night, which was great. I had the end of the evening to spend on the phone with Colin and just chill on the couch. (My bed is gone, so I slept on the couch, which is fortunately not going anywhere.)

The place looks oddly half-empty. I mean, my room is totally cleared out and the living room has half the furniture gone, but the dishwasher is still full and there's stuff in the kitchen, but not nearly as much as usual. It's odd to move out without having to do the whole "get the place to the completely clean bare bones so the landlord can inspect it" thing.

In any case, I'm hoping to make the trip in two days. We usually do it in two (a 15-hour and a 9-hour) when there are two of us driving; I'm hoping to split it more evenly and do two 14-ish-hour days on the road, giving myself lots of time for stretch breaks and so on. The upside to getting awful gas mileage while pulling the trailer is that it forces me to stop for gas about twice as often as I would on a road trip without it. We discovered that it's about 3 1/2 tanks of gas from Calgary to L.A. with no trailer, and about 6 tanks with the trailer. Icky.

So anyway... I have to stop at the U-Haul dealer to drop off the dolly, and then I'm on the road. That'll take me about 20 minutes out of my way, but I should be going for real by about 8:00.

I'll post tonight from somewhere in Idaho!

Title? Right.

Wed, 13 May 2009 07:53:38 GMT

I'm supposed to be working on my thesis database, but I'd rather be doing anything but. It's not that I mind the research, because that's interesting. It's the data entry into Access that's dragging me down. I know it's the best way to keep everything straight, because otherwise, I'll never remember what belongs where, but still... I'd rather have a photographic memory and not have to document everything. ;)

Man, this Starbucks is freezing. I should really go home, where I can control the A/C.

(And now, I'm home.)

The internet here is being ridiculously slow tonight. Just sayin'.

I don't think I've mentioned it here yet, but I plowed through Chuck in the past couple of weeks. I've been busy with so much other stuff, and yet I kept going, and I watched both seasons within about a week and a half. It's one of those shows that I've now caught up to and I actually miss. I haven't felt the need to rewatch episodes or random scenes from week to week with any show for a while, but I've been doing that with this one since I finished it. Colin hasn't seen it, so I've already told him that this will be added to our "must-buy" list. He'll like it, and I'll gladly rewatch it with him.

We have so much TV on DVD to get through, though. There are at least 5 shows that we need to watch all or part of (or have a season of and need to watch to see if we want to watch more). That's definitely where more of our entertainment budget has been going lately. We both used to buy a lot more movies (especially him), but in the past year or so, most of what we've purchased has been TV. Somehow, it just seems like a better value to get 14 hours of viewing for not much more money than a movie's 2 hours. Also, we love having the excuse of working through a show to spend a quiet night at home. We get so busy that when we do have time to spend 3 or 4 hours in front of the TV, watching a few episodes of whatever show we're working through, we love it.

Not that we don't watch movies, because sometimes that's just what we're in the mood for, but for whatever reason, it's been more about TV lately--but we so rarely watch TV live that it's all about the TV on DVD.

I don't have a desk right now, and I haven't had one while I've lived here, but when we have our own place and I have a desk again, I've found the one I want. I really like the IKEA Mikael desk, either regular or corner, depending on the configuration of the room. Sunday after church, I had lunch at IKEA and spent some time wandering around. Bad idea when I'm packing and putting things in storage. Heh. There are always too many things that I want.

New blog entry up at the other blog. As an artist evaluating your work, whose opinions matter most?

Four more days until I leave. Fortunately, there's not too much left to do around here. I'll have enough to keep me busy for the next couple of days, but I shouldn't be too overwhelmed and stressed out. And then, I have next week off, since I'd planned to start work a week later when we were hoping to take next week as a vacation week. Hopefully I can get together with a few friends and get some errands done--maybe even take care of transferring over my license, the car registration and insurance, and my health care right away. We'll see.

And... it's bedtime.

New and shiny

Sun, 10 May 2009 07:10:27 GMT

It's up! It's up!

www.AlidaAnderson.net is officially up and running, and I think that most of the bugs have been worked out, although I'm sure I'll find some little things along the way.

There's a blog over there, which will be for more professional things, although I'll probably cross-post a lot of it here, too. In fact, the first 10 entries or so are all things that I've pulled from this blog, and I need to keep going through the archives to see if there's anything else that can go up there.

Having said that, there's a new post that's just over there for now. There's also a link to my LinkedIn profile, so if you want to connect with me there, too, feel free.

And, as always, input and feedback is appreciated. :)

Early packing = good organization

Tue, 05 May 2009 19:40:20 GMT

I have a BBQ with the Coffeehouse committee this afternoon, and I don't really want to go. I have to, though; I'm leading the meeting portion of the afternoon. Sigh. I have so much to get done this week. Makes me glad that I got a majority of my packing done last week, since my schedule was somehow lighter.

Really, I only have two major things left: Portfolio Review on Monday, and my Independent Study documentation, due next Tuesday. I'm on the planning committee for Portfolio Review, so I have things to take care of with that, and then I have to put together my own portfolio. I've been mostly concentrating on my website, which is just about ready to go, so that's fine, but I need to put together a powerpoint version of my resume/portfolio/profile. I'll have some binders out (how exciting; you can see how I organize my binder!), and I'll put out posters and programs, but my primary focus is getting something together that I can distribute (a website) and that represents the shows I've done.

It's hard for producers to do this kind of review, because we don't have the physical work to show. Designers can set up a model or a mannequin, and their work can be presented in its own right. A stage manager or production manager's binder says a lot about their work, and while it may not be as pretty or as interesting as a designer's table, to the right person, it speaks volumes.

My portfolio, though, depends on other people's work. If you take a look at my online portfolio, you'll see that it's comprised of a lot of things that other people have done. Other directors' stagings. Other actors onstage. Other designers' designs. Other graphic designers' posters.

However, all of that is important to convey the scope of the shows and the style of work that I do. I need to present all of that (with credit, of course) so that people can see that the Passion Play, which I production managed, involved over 100 cast, was seen by 10,000 audience members, and had a several-acre stage. I need to show what the shows at CalArts look like, what kind of aesthetic was developed. And, in a way, that's best seen on a screen. I'm not trying to appropriate anyone else's work as my own, and I'm not trying to show their models or the specific details of their work. I'm explaining my place in the big picture, and the big picture involves a lot of people's work.

So, all that to say that it works best as a digital portfolio, and I have to make a powerpoint presentation to have looping at my station all day.

And then... thesis work. Mostly it's just making sure that all the documentation of what I've done this semester is up-to-date. I need to make sure the company database has all the information I currently have in it, and I need to finish a summary of all the reading I've been doing this semester. Oh, and interview questions. I need to at least draft some questions that I want to use when I'm doing interviews this summer.

And, of course, there's all kinds of little stuff; the flotsam and jetsam of the end of the year. Signatures that I have to track down, paperwork to submit, grant money to spend, receipts to submit, things to get ready for fall, all-school cleanup on Tuesday, work (at both jobs), internship details to hammer out, a second summer job to line up, etc, etc, etc.

Not to mention the five or so blog entries that are running around my head, threatening to disappear and be forgotten if I don't write them really, really soon.

Yeah, I'm really glad I did that packing last week.

Ugh. Packing.

Sat, 25 Apr 2009 10:48:17 GMT

It's amazing how indecisive I become when faced with the fact that I have to decide what I'll need in the next three weeks and pack the rest. Am I going to need those hair products, or can I start packing up my bathroom now? Which jeans will I be in the mood to wear, and what shoes will go with them?

Then, of course, there's the process of deciding what I'll need in the next year and packing it separately from the things I don't need to access before at least next year.

And finally, there's the division of things that I'll need to have access to over the summer and things that I'll need in the fall (or potentially things that I'll need after December but before... whenever it is that I unpack everything else, which is still an unknown date) but can stay packed for the next four months.

Everything that can go in the trailer for the next while is packed in boxes sealed with yellow tape. Everything that needs to go into a house is in boxes sealed with blue tape. The blue tape boxes will be opened in waves, since I won't need them all at the same time, but I do need them all to be accessible.

Sigh. No wonder I'm tired.

But the U-Haul is booked (and I'm still grumbling at the fact that it's 3 times more expensive for a one-way move from here to Calgary than it is from Calgary to here) and I've got 13 packed boxes stacked in the living room, so... I'm on my way? I guess.

Mariah's out of town for the week, and by the time she gets back, she'll come back to an apartment full of boxes. Poor girl.

Side note: This is why I tend to procrastinate packing. Once you start, the house is never clean. There's just no way to tidy up and have the place look nice when there are boxes (and half-packed boxes, and stacks of stuff to go into boxes) everywhere.

Anyway.

I was looking for someplace with free wi-fi that's open 24 hours. None of the Starbucks in the area are, but I'm wondering if Denny's has wi-fi. It's attached to a Best Western; maybe it has hotel wireless, even if the restaurant itself doesn't. It's not that I need it to be working all night, but the Starbucks that close at 11:30 or 12 aren't open quite late enough. Tonight, I ended up at a Starbucks that was open until 11:30 (after getting there at about 9:45), and then came home to keep working here, but sometimes a change of scenery is nice.

Sat, 18 Apr 2009 18:33:52 GMT

This online quiz? Is crazy-hard. How many countries can you name in 5 minutes? I think my highest score so far is 83 (out of 270). Every time the list of countries I forgot comes up, I have a moment of, "Of course I know that's a country! How did I forget it?!" but it's hard to think through them all that quickly, even trying to go geographically. Or alphabetically. Plus, there are a lot of islands and territories that are technically their own countries that I didn't even know about.

So. How well do you know the world?

Coming back

Fri, 10 Apr 2009 00:13:15 GMT

Well, I'm back. My little blog-cation has served its purpose, and it's time to re-enter the world of the communicative. It's been a full few weeks, with Esther's visit, more hours at work, the semester gearing up to the end and winding down at the same time, and the various and sundry day-to-day things that happen.

There were a thousand little things that I thought of to write about while I was away from lj-land (at least, away from the posting side; I kept up with everyone else's journals), but, of course, I didn't write them down, so they're lost in the netherworld of the space in between my brain and my keyboard, never to be recovered. Most of them. Some of the ideas will likely resurface at some point--I find that I mull over certain entries for quite some time before writing them--but many of the trivial, fleeting ideas are gone.

That's okay, though. Not everything that passes through my head needs to find a voice on the internet.

So, what's new? Well, my laptop's keyboard is pink now. I have pictures of my own computer, but they're still on my camera, so in the meantime, you can look at that and envision. My favorite is that the backspace key is now a magic wand. The stickers are removable, so the fun won't last forever, but in the meantime, it's very exciting. ;o)

Mariah and I are discussing our options for our apartment, the summer, and the fall. We need to come to a decision in the next few days, and suffice to say, I may be having to make different arrangements than I'd originally planned for.

I leave for a weekend in Calgary tomorrow morning. I'll get to see the show that Colin composed the orchestrations for (and which numerous other people that I know are in, but that's all kind of secondary for me). I'm ridiculously proud of him, and having heard the various pieces in their electronic incarnations as demos, I'm excited to hear them as done by real instruments played by real instrumentalists. It's the biggest project he's ever done, and he's certainly put the work into it and should be very, very proud of what he's done. I know I am. :)

We'll have the usual kind of holiday weekend. Colin has both Friday and Monday off work, which is absolutely fantastic, so I don't have my usual dilemma of having time while he's at work. Usually, when that happens, I try to schedule coffee with my girlfriends, but I'm completely okay with not having time for that. We'll have Easter dinners with both our families (Saturday brunch with mine, Sunday dinner with his), two performances of the Easter show, Easter Sunday morning service, and Monday to just chill and hang out. I fly out on Tuesday, but not until early evening, so since Colin's back at work, that's when I've scheduled my meetings and things to get done. Bank meeting, internship meeting, and probably coffee with my mom (y'know, since my parents paid for this flight...).

Today--my birthday!--has been pretty normal. It's a regular Thursday, with school, work, more school, more work. The girls in the Public Affairs office made me cupcakes, but that's about it. I work tonight, and I still have some packing and cleaning to do when I get home, so it'll be a short night before I head to the airport in the morning.

I'm very excited. Since our visit last month got cut short by about 6 days, I really need this weekend.

Anyway. Hopefully there'll be lots of pictures. Lori promised to have her camera on hand. :)

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 18:12:56 GMT

... taking a little blog-cation ...

I'll be back in a few days... few weeks...

Sat, 21 Mar 2009 07:14:53 GMT

After living in the U.S. for a significant part of the last almost-4 years, I go back and forth between Celsius and Fahrenheit fairly easily. I can convert them in my head (rather, I know the equivalents along the way, and I ballpark from there--I don't actually do the math), although I'm fuzzy on the Fahrenheit equivalents of 0 to -40 Celsius, and I'm fuzzy on the Celsius equivalents of 90+ Fahrenheit (gee, I wonder why...). And, like learning a foreign language, I'm getting better at "thinking" in Fahrenheit, but there are still times that I have to convert it to Celsius to translate it into a sense of what the air will feel like on my body.

However, I've realized lately that, no matter who I'm talking to, I talk about Canadian temperatures in Celsius and American temperatures in Fahrenheit.

I realized it most vividly when Esther commented the other day that she wants it to be in the 30s the entire time she's visiting. I did a quick double take and then agreed with her, because, yes, I'd like it to be in the mid-80s the entire time she's visiting. The funniest part is, I have no problem instinctively saying that I would be fully happy for it to never dip below 25 all summer while I'm in Calgary, and would never think of saying that I want it to be in the high 70s for three months.

In my foreign language example, is this the equivalent to dreaming in French?

If there's no room for you, where is there room for me?

Sat, 21 Mar 2009 06:06:35 GMT

It's the responsibility of any artist to champion the creation of art that he or she disagrees with, doesn't understand, or is offended by.

This is a theory that I've been mulling over for a while--about a year now, I guess--and I think that I can fairly confidently boil it down to that statement.

I subconsciously became aware of it when I was considering CalArts, but I actually put it into words last spring, when I was deciding whether I was going to take the job with the Calgary Fringe Festival for the summer. In that case, it wasn't about whether I was artistically opposed to anything, but it was the fact that a lot of the work I'd have been associated with and working on would be work that I was morally, ideologically, religiously, and politically offended by.

Could I put my name on that kind of work professionally? Well, in a sense, I do it every day, simply by being at CalArts. A lot of what comes across my path is work that I don't find very aesthetically pleasing, work that is in direct contradiction to my beliefs and the way I live my life, and even work that mocks the things I build my life around.

However, the conclusion I came to (even though I didn't end up taking the Fringe job) was that I could seriously consider it, those objections aside, because the work I do is also "fringe." Faith-based theatre is fringe theatre in the sense that it doesn't attract the mainstream, LORT-going¹ audiences who want to see the same shows re-mounted year after year. Both fringe edges struggle for funding, audiences, press coverage, and so on, because they, by definition, attract a "fringe" of the theatre-going public. Work that is shown at a Fringe Festival may be "fringe" because of its content or its execution; faith-based theatre may have a more conventional presentation, but its content is what makes it less accessible to the general public.

Both groups are struggling for validation, recognition, and some level of mainstream presence in the theatre world, and by championing one type of fringe, I am a part of building a world where my kind of fringe has a voice.

I think that one of the most important qualities that an artist needs to have is the ability to recognize quality work, whether they like the work or not. How else will art continue to grow, unless artists recognize that their niche is only one part of a larger world? I don't have to enjoy work to recognize its quality (or lack thereof). I don't have to agree with it to see that it's good. Conversely, I don't have to like everything that presents a worldview that I agree with.

I need to be free to criticize the work of artists with whom I have everything in common. If I can't see past content to quality (in both senses--the worldviews I agree with and those I don't), how will my work combine both quality and content? If I'm only learning from people who are doing work that I share an ideology with, how will my art transcend the implied and perceived boundaries of faith-based theatre and draw its inspiration from the world around me, including the avant-garde work that can be, at times, offensive, scary, and polarizing?

And, just as importantly, if I'm committed to doing quality work, what can others--who may find my work offensive, scary, and polarizing--learn from me?

The art world is symbiotic. We are all constantly learning from and drawing from each other. A world with only LORT theatres would suffer from a great deal of deprivation--and yet, those theatres reach a certain demographic and serve an audience that may or may not ever branch out from it. If an artistically conservative audience is ever going to see anything on the fringe, are they going to get there if they haven't started with something more conventional? I'd say that most of them probably won't.

Although CalArts doesn't bear his name (but theatres and spaces inside the building are named after various members of the Disney family), it was founded by Walt Disney and his brother Roy. CalArts students, on the whole, have a love-hate relationship with Disney. There's the typical "it's so commercialized, it's mass-appeal" thing², but in my mind, Disney's work (speaking of Disney the corporation, not necessarily Walter E. Disney the person) exists on a different plane than CalArts' work. They both shape the art world in some way, and they exist together and can learn from each other, but they generally reach different audiences--or reach the same audience for different reasons.

In any case, I read an article which argued that Walt Disney should be recognized as one of the most influential artists of the 20th century. Not only because he revolutionized animation--which continues to impact the film industry to this day--but also because he was committed to things like CalArts. Even though he admitted that he wasn't a huge fan of its avant-garde work, he recognized its importance in the art world and established a school dedicated to it. CalArts is, in some ways, the antithesis of Disney³, and yet Walt Disney understood the importance of quietly championing a subset of the art world that wasn't his "preferred" aesthetic in order to make the art world a richer, more diverse place.

That's the thing. It's not always about championing the work or the artist. It's about championing an art world where the work I find offensive has the place to be made, because I recognize that my work is offensive to someone, yet it needs its place, too. Their place isn't--and doesn't have to be--my place⁴, but we both need a place.

No, I don't go see everything that comes across my path. There are certain things that are so offensive to my faith and my beliefs or that are so graphic, grotesque, or unappealing to me that I choose not to see them. There are things that I'm not aesthetically attracted to that I choose not to see. I make that call based on a number of factors, but for me, the important thing is that no single factor, in and of itself, is enough to make me write off a piece of art⁵.

I'm not obligated to see everything. I'm not obligated to agree with, like, or even understand everything. I'm not even obligated to appreciate everything. Like everyone, it's my prerogative to choose not to watch something based on whatever criteria I want. It's even my prerogative to judge my desire to experience something based on reviews and other sources, even though I haven't seen it. It's my prerogative to have certain artists or companies whose work I refuse to support financially.

Those are the rights of every patron of the arts. This entry isn't an ultimatum; it's not something that makes "good" or "bad" artists or audience members. It's not something that means that an artist or audience member is "more" or "less" sophisticated than others.

What is it, then? It's a way to promote the growth of the artistic community, in all aspects--mainstream, fringe, and everything in between. It comes down to the fact that if I refuse to acknowledge the artistic merit of work that is opposite mine and they refuse to acknowledge the artistic merit of mine--and if we refuse to recognize that there are ways in which we can learn from each other--the art world becomes a very narrow place.

1. LORT = League of Resident Theatres. Most rep houses in any major city are LORT theatres (or LORT-style, if they're outside the U.S.). This is one of the styles of theatre that's fairly widely considered to be detrimental to innovative and creative work; the kind of house that will do things like remount "A Christmas Carol" every year. However, it also appeals to the broadest subscriber base and probably represents the largest pool of theatre-goers in the not-for-profit world (i.e. excluding Broadway). (Back to entry)

2. Certain CalArts students--and artists in general--have an automatic disdain of anything that has mass appeal, thinking that it loses some sort of artistic validity, but this argument goes both ways. There's something to be learned from art that has reached and touched the masses, both in an artistic sense and in a business sense. Does that mean that everything that has mass appeal is good? Depends on your definition. Some of it, not so much, but there's something to be said for the fact that it appeals to people. (Back to entry)

3. In other ways, it's not, especially when it comes to animation. CalArts' original animation teachers were some of the Nine Old Men, and some of the most influential people in animation today are CalArts alum (every animated film nominated for an Academy Award this year had CalArts alum attached to it). While CalArts is cutting-edge and experimental in its animation work, that department has the closest ties to Disney and the "mainstream" industry. However, that's not to say that there aren't alumni from every department who have had notably successful careers in the mainstream eye. There are. I could name people in any artistic discipline, and if you've got some sense of who's who in the arts, you'll know their names. Animation is just the subsection of the arts and entertainment industry that's most dominated by CalArtians. (Back to entry)

4. Although sometimes it is. When I was in negotiations with the Fringe last year, they were considering a partnership of sorts with the faith-based art community, because they were beginning to recognize that, although we come from very different places, we end up side by side. That partnership didn't happen last year, but the seeds have been planted, and both sides are more aware of the common ground between the two groups. (Back to entry)

5. A lot of what's out there breaks my heart, because I believe it's so far from what God intended humanity to be, but each piece of work represents and reflects a person, and the way that work changes--in any significant trajectory of an artist's career--is because their life, ideology, faith, circumstance, etc. changes. In other words, I can't make art be more reflective of the world I wish I lived in by trying to ignore or silence the work that is in opposition to my beliefs. The work will change (in any way) if people themselves change. Some do, some don't. (Back to entry)

More people sleeping on my couch!

Wed, 18 Mar 2009 05:31:17 GMT

Well, March is definitely my month of visitors! First Dad, then Colin, and now Esther's coming for spring break, since our breaks coincide (no, she's not a student; she's a preschool teacher). She'll get here next Tuesday and leave on Sunday, so we'll have a good number of days to hang out and do fun L.A. stuff. Like the beach and Disneyland.

My work schedule seems to be just about perfect, too. After a number of weeks with very few hours (thanks to tech and the show), I have just over 20 hours this week, and I'll probably still get in an almost-full (10 hours is my usual) work week at school, and the timing fits well with Esther's trip. I work Monday, but not Tuesday (when she flies in). Wednesday and Thursday, I'm off by 4 p.m., and I'm off Friday and Saturday. Sunday morning, she leaves really early, and then I work on Sunday evening. She'll have to entertain herself for a couple of days, but I've got lots of TV on DVD, wireless internet, and a Target within walking distance of my house.

I'm not sure yet what else we'll do. She's going to do some googling and see if there's anything that really strikes her fancy. Disneyland is a must--she's been waiting her entire life to go, and it's half the reason she's coming down. I think she's only half as excited to hang out with me as she is to go to Disneyland. :)

We'll probably go to the beach, although weather will determine whether we actually hang out on the beach or just walk the boardwalk and go shopping. Hopefully it'll be warm enough to be a combination of both, but we'll see. Today was in the low 80s; hopefully it'll be around that while she's here.

Aside from those two things, we don't really have any particular plans yet. If anyone wants to offer suggestions... well, that's what the comments are for!

(Hopefully next week is an indication of the kind of hours I'll get for the rest of the school year--without the show, I have more availability, and would really like to be getting decent hours.)

I've updated some of my tags, too. I consolidated and deleted a few redundant ones and gave some of my most-used tags new names. Now I just have to remember what the new names are when I'm tagging my entries.

I kind of feel like I'm already on spring break, just because I don't work until Saturday this week (thanks to a schedule that was tailored to Colin's intended visit) and I'm not hanging around school until midnight every night (although I will be there until sometime around 2 a.m. on Saturday night). I've been home both last night and tonight, and I'm starting to get a little bored with it already. It's nice to have the break, but I need to be productive. I've got a lot to do in terms of my thesis, and I need to use this week wisely for that kind of work, but it's been nice to take a couple of days to relax and not do much of anything that wasn't absolutely necessary.

And now, I'm going to have some ice cream and read a book before I fall asleep. Shhh. Don't tell anyone that I'm being so unproductive.

Tue, 17 Mar 2009 05:32:09 GMT

Two days is never enough time, but in this case, it was definitely the best decision to shorten Colin's trip down here and make it just a weekend. Both Saturday and Sunday were long days, in the good way; Saturday night was a long night, in the "we didn't get up until 1:30 Sunday afternoon" way; and it was relaxing, especially for Colin.

Saturday, his flight got in at 11 a.m., and we just hung out for the afternoon--had lunch, went for a walk, started watching Everwood season 1 (which is going to be our next marathon, since Colin has never seen the series). We headed up to the school at around 6, and then after the show, I was there until 2 for strike. Colin was, too, but he went out to the car and fell asleep at around midnight, since he hadn't actually slept, except for a bit of dozing on the plane, since he got up at 9 on Friday morning...

... which explains why we decided to be heathens on Sunday morning and not even try to get up for church. Instead, we got up at around 1:30 and decided that we'd go for a walk to get some lunch, come back, and watch some more Everwood. And this is where the weekend gets interesting.

We left the apartment to have lunch, planning to walk there and back, about 2 miles each way. Not that far, but far enough that I didn't really want to carry my purse with me, and since Colin had his wallet and phone, I didn't take anything with me. Including the keys to the apartment. Which I realized when we were about three steps out the door, which was firmly locked behind us.

Mariah was in Vegas for the weekend, and she wasn't going to be getting home until around 10, so we called a locksmith to see how much it'd cost to get in, but decided that the $60 was more than we wanted to pay, and we'd just figure out something else to do. Colin had his car keys in his pocket, so at least we had a wallet and a set of car keys, so we could entertain ourselves for the rest of the day.

Except that it turned out that Colin didn't have his keys with him. So, we had an afternoon and evening to kill with a wallet and some decent walking shoes. Instead of walking to the restaurant we'd originally planned to go to, we went to the mall a little further away (about 3 1/2 miles), which has more sit-down restaurants and a movie theatre, and figured that we'd see a movie, and by the time that was over and we walked back home, Mariah would be getting back.

That part of the plan worked beautifully. We walked to the mall, had lunch, wandered around Borders for a while, saw Coraline, and walked home, getting back at around 10... only to find out that Mariah's flight had been delayed, and it'd be at least another couple of hours before she got home.

And, of course, I had to pee. I figured we should walk to the 24-hour grocery store, since nothing closer was open by 10:30 on a Sunday night, and wait there until Mariah got home. So, off we went, walking about a mile to the store--and when I was finished, Colin figured that we were going to just head back. I'd thought we could just wander around in the store for a while, but he didn't really want to, and I told him that as long as he was going to keep me warm (fortunately, it was a mild night, although sitting on the cement steps outside the apartment was a little chilly), that was fine.

We sat on the steps outside for a while, then decided that we wanted to go to 7-11 a few blocks away and get some supper, since it was about 11:30, and lunch had been quite a while ago. Mariah came home at around 12:15, just as we were finishing chili dogs from the Tommy's beside the 7-11. (Chili dog and hot chocolate. Nice combination, no?)

If nothing else, the day was our first really good training walk for this year's breast cancer walk... we did about 9 miles (almost 15 km) over the course of the day.

Once we got inside, we ended up watching another episode of Everwood and not going to bed until almost 3. Of course, the alarm went off at 5:30, since we had to leave for the airport by 6, but I was back home by 7:30 and in bed for a couple more hours of sleep before heading out for the rest of my day.

Now Colin is back in Calgary, likely working on music by now. He's planning to still take this week as a vacation of sorts and not go to the rehearsals that he's already planned to have covered by someone else, so he'll have enough time to really work on the show. He might go back to work on Thursday and Friday (and save those two vacation days for some other time), but that'll partly depend on how the music is coming. Even if he does, though, this is a "days" week for him, and it's always easier for him to get work done outside of work when he's on days, rather than nights.

So, like I said when we first decided to do this, it's the best decision. He got a couple of days away from the work, and we got to spend some good, uninterrupted time together for a few days. Easter weekend will be a little longer and a little busier, with a lot more people to see, but it was nice to have this interlude that was just us for a little less than 48 hours.

Oh, people

Sat, 14 Mar 2009 04:10:23 GMT

CalArts has warped my perception of normal. I've been touting Borkman as a great show to bring non-CalArtians on campus for, since it's relatively normal and not as bizarre as many shows we do here.

Linear storyline? Character development? Actors fully clothed? Fairly consistent period costumes? Proscenium staging? Audience seated in chairs, in rows? Plot development in traditional four-act structure?

Really, what more could people want? So it doesn't have a living room onstage as the set, but who wants to see that kind of set design any more anyway? That hasn't been current, in any kind of theatre, in quite some time now.

However, both my dad and Mariah said that it was good, but a little strange. I think that had more to do with some of the sound design, the directorial choices, the staging, and the movement, but trust me, it's not that weird.

We also had a couple walk out of the performance one night. I have no idea who they were, if they're someone's family or invited guests, or if they came through our advertising. If they came through the advertising... well, no show will appeal to everyone, but I was really pushing the fact that this show has more of a mass appeal than most of what we do here.

Oh well. Some people can enjoy theatre (and art) that pushes their preconceived ideas of what's "normal," and some can't. If they can't appreciate the art for its own sake, as opposed to how much they enjoy it, too bad for them. Is that the kind of audience we want to be developing anyway?

(Rhetorical question. I'm not going to get on my soapbox now.)

Sat, 07 Mar 2009 10:15:35 GMT

Ahhh. The show, it is open.

(And I'm not watching it tonight; I'll see it on either Monday or Tuesday next week, and also on Saturday.)

Also, as small-town-paper as it is, we've got some press coverage. There are a few mistakes--for instance, Maureen (the director) is in fact a student. This show is her thesis. Also, I'm not the assistant producer, nor am I a curator for this production. That would be the Coffeehouse. Things like that. However, it's a story, which is cool. It's publicity for the show, which is nice but not completely necessary, as we're already almost full, and it's more fodder for my portfolio.

***

I got a full set of acrylic nails for the run. I'm not impressed. The girl who did them did a shoddy job, and they don't look that great. I really don't want to have them re-done elsewhere (and pay for a second set), but these ones look really crappy, so I might have to. We'll see.

I like getting a manicure like this, that doesn't bite the dust as quickly as a regular nail-polish-only one, but it always kind of makes me sad to be able to have these longer nails for a while. It means that I'm not playing the piano regularly, which was always the reason that I kept my nails short. I keep my natural nails short these days because I really hate their shape, and the less I can draw attention to them, the better, but fake ones are different.

***

Here, have a few pictures of me all gussied up. This isn't the greatest picture of this dress, which was borrowed from Mariah's closet and is a lovely deep purple. It also has the tendency to make my legs look about 3 inches long, which is why I have to wear 4" heels with it for it to look in any way flattering to the lower half of my body.

Also, please ignore the mess in my room, so thoroughly reflected in my full-length mirror. Usually it's not that bad, I promise.

Anyway, I'm home now. I don't have to be anywhere until the box office opens for tomorrow night's show. (Yay! No matinee! I hate matinees.) I'm going to clean, since Dad will want to sleep on my couch on Monday night, and I'm going to sleep in. Especially since it's almost 2:30 a.m. now.

Yay!

Wed, 04 Mar 2009 19:38:33 GMT

So, my parents are pretty much awesome.

My dad's flying down on Monday to see my show (he'll fly in Monday morning and fly out Wednesday morning), and they're flying me to Calgary for Easter weekend as a birthday gift. Yay! I get to see Colin's show! And spend my birthday weekend with him! And Mom gets to have a family dinner! (That was what Colin told me I should use as a selling point: "Your mom likes family dinners. Tell her that she can have one for Easter and your birthday if they buy you a plane ticket.")

My mom and sister are still considering coming down for spring break, but that's still up in the air, pending my mom's permanent resident card and some decent flight prices.

Sat, 28 Feb 2009 08:47:36 GMT

My prop master was laughing at me tonight when we were going down our list of things to do for the show, and my list was something like this: proof the program, send the program to be printed, follow up on ticketing for group sales, prep the box office reports for each day, write the pre-show speech, get the opening night gifts from the management team, get a haircut, get my eyebrows done, get a manicure, make sure I have 9 dressy, professional outfits ready.

Yeah. My to-do list before the show opens includes all my personal grooming and beauty stuff, since, as the producer, I'm at the show every night and I'm the face of the production to the audience. I'm the one who has to look good when it's all happening, and if I don't look pulled together, it impacts the show's presentation. Especially since we've invited a number of VIPs and bigwigs in the industry. Who knows how many will show up, but regardless of who's there, I'm the first point of contact. (Well, technically, the box office staff is, but I'm the first one that's specific to the show.)

Unfortunately, I can't expense my manicure to the show. Dang.

2 years

Tue, 24 Feb 2009 06:55:32 GMT

Two years later, here we are.

Thu, 19 Feb 2009 08:26:36 GMT

A nice thing: Having a fat day, feeling blah and out of shape, and having my roommate ask anyway if I've lost weight recently.